A COUPLE OF GENIUSES
Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2006
Two students wait until the last minute to give a report on an invention.
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Product Id: #280
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An excerpt …
DREW: (entering in a hurry, followed by Matt) Come on! Come on! We’ve only got ten minutes.
MATT: We can’t do it, Drew!
DREW: Yes, we can! Yes we can! This is how I do all my homework. Matt, if you wait ‘til the last minute you get real inspiration.
MATT: You get in real trouble. Why, out of the whole class, did I pick you as a partner for the science project?
DREW: Because there was no one else left.
MATT: You’re right. Oh, this is gonna kill my grade.
DREW: It’s easy, son! The assignment is to explain how a common everyday item was invented. Heck, anybody can do that!
(invention of the foot is not often reported)
DREW: Kick! That’s it! How the foot was invented!
MATT: The foot?!
DREW: (drops to his knees, then in a British accent) I say, chappy, I’m tired of always feeling so low.
MATT: (dropping to his knees and joining in, similarly British) Quite so. And walking around on one’s knees puts you at a certain disadvantage, don’t you think?
DREW: Quite. Should we get a ladder?
MATT: Oh, I would hate to carry a ladder up and down the streets of London. I mean, what would people think?
DREW: Indeed. Think we’d gone quite mad.
(they consider the use of a buffalo hide)
MATT: Wait a minute, Dusty. What if we was to skin that buffalo standin’ over there?
DREW: Well, I ‘spect he’d be a bit irritated, don’t you?
MATT: ‘Spect so. We’d probably have to shoot him first. Then we’d wrap his hide around our legs and our backside and maybe it wouldn’t be so derned cold out here on the prairie.
DREW: Seems a waste of good buffalo. What’d we do with the rest of ‘im?
MATT: We’d microwave him. Startin’ with the feet.
DREW: What’s a microwave?
MATT: Oh, a couple of cavemen came up with the idea. You’ll like it. ‘Course you can’t use aluminum foil. Makes sparks.
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