A GOOD SPORT
Comedy, by Robert L. Crowe, 2011
A sports interview runs the wrong way.
Price includes 2 scripts.
- 2 Males
Product Id: #304
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An excerpt …
(Percy is a football hero)
BUFFALO: (looks at audience, then another part of the audience, then shrugs) Percy, you weren’t always a quarterback. Tell us how that came about.
PERCY: Well, I started out in “Itty-Bitty Football.”
BUFFALO: When was that? When you were 5 or 6 years old?
PERCY: No, I was in high school but the football was itty-bitty. Little tiny football. Easy to throw. When I grad-e-ated to a larger size football, I was an offensive guard. Then, I was an offensive tackle. Then, they moved me to offensive end. I was just generally offensive.
BUFFALO: We’re you a big guy?
PERCY: I was about 127 pounds, soaking wet. I got weighed often when I was wet because the mascot kept throwing me in the showers.
(he got in a game)
BUFFALO: (tries to get false excitement building in the next few questions) What happened? Were you nervous? What did you do?
PERCY: Nervous, no. Petrified, yes. The first play called was a pass play.
BUFFALO: Had you ever passed the ball before?
PERCY: I had run past the ball many times but never actually thrown it at anybody. The ball was hiked. (moves back as if to pass) I did a three step drop and looked for my receivers. When I looked more closely I saw this mammoth number 99 about to crush me so I threw the ball up in the air (he tosses it with two hands straight up in the air) hoping he would chase it. I pointed at the ball and yelled, “Fetch, boy. Fetch!” Since the ball went straight up in the air, nobody was watching it. It came down and hit the helmet of our man, Anderson, the split end.
BUFFALO: The split end.
PERCY: Yep. He was too big for his pants, so they split all the time. Anyway. Anderson thought it was the coach hitting him in the head again so he took off running and the ball landed in his hands. He scored a touchdown. It was spectacular.
(the quarterback interviews the interviewer)
PERCY: Have you always been in sports reporting?
BUFFALO: I worked for a newspaper for a while. I was in … Creative News … but I got too good at it so they transferred me to sports reporting. Our local football team was 0 for 31 over a period of years. I suggested that they weren’t very good and the coach got me fired. So, I went into radio, and the rest, as they say, is history.
PERCY: There are a lot of activities to cover. What’s your favorite sport?
BUFFALO: I guess it would be bowling. There’s just something about the crash of a ball against those … white things. Makes my shiver just to think of it. And the automatic pin setter. It’s breath-taking. The announcing takes some degree of skill. You have to talk very softly (he does) as the bowler approaches the release line, and you can get louder while the ball rolls to the target (he gets louder) and then WHAM! You can scream if you want to because nobody is listening anyway. You don’t get that exhilaration with ping pong.
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