Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2001
Some summer camps are so bad even a fairy godmother can't help.The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.
Duration8 - 10 minutes
- 3 Females
Product Id: #768
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An excerpt …
(rise and shine)
HACKMAN: (Half drill summer-camp-director, half drill sergeant, shouting) Okay, you dog biscuits! Time to rise and shine! Let’s go girls! Get those sleepy empty heads out of bed and hit the floor for roll call! Hup Two! Hup Two!
MANDY: (who up until this moment has been sleeping peacefully) What time is it?
HACKMAN: Time to rise and shine, my little planter’s wart! Time to get up and greet the new day at CampOomygosha! Time for our three-mile nature hike through PythonSwamp! Time to climb RazortoothMountain! Then we’ll think about breakfast! Hup Two! Hup Two! (shouting offstage) Come on, Schmidt! That timber wolf won’t hurt you! It’s your turn to give it a bath
(there’s only one word you’re not supposed to say …)
BRUNHILDA: But don’t say that word again.
BRUNHILDA: Did I tell you not to say it? Of course I did. And what did you do? You said it.
MANDY: But what does that have to do …?
BRUNHILDA: I don’t know. I don’t understand why. It’s a glitch in the software, I guess. Here she comes. Watch this.
HACKMAN: (entering in a huff … she cannot see Brunhilda) And what do I see here? A room full of girls still in their jammies? I think maybe it’s time for a good, healthy round of line dancing in the campfire!
MANDY: I … I’m sorry, Miss Hackman.
HACKMAN: You know, girlie-girl, I think it’s about time I taught you …
BRUNHILDA: (tapping Hackman on the head and proclaiming) Loving!
HACKMAN: (suddenly overcome by all the sweetness in the world) ... how to make your bed. Oh, no, sweetheart. Don’t bother yourself. I’ll do it! I’ll do it! (she begins making Mandy’s bed) Oh, I just love doing things for others … especially sweet little girls like you.
BRUNHILDA: (smacking her own forehead) Duh!
(Bruhilda has a suggestion about dealing with the real Hackman)
BRUNHILDA:. Hey look … I’m sorry. But you gotta get realistic, kid. Even a fairy whatchamacallit can’t change the world for you. Look … I know this is gonna be tough … but why not try a little kindness on the old windbag? Maybe she just needs a friend.
BRUNHILDA: Toads need friends! Amoebas need friends! Everybody needs a friend.
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