Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2003
A person on a street corner is approached by another person who warns of the end of the world. The message is so convincing that — the two change places.
Price includes 2 scripts.
Duration8 - 10 minutes
- 2 Females
- 1 Female, 1 Male
- 2 Males
Product Id: #264
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An excerpt …
(Taylor is trying to catch a bus to get to work)
RILEY: Devastation! Ruin! The end of all things as we know it!
TAYLOR: (still frightened, manages to produce a weak smile, a small laugh, then as he moves away) … uh ... Have a nice day.
RILEY: Don’t take another step! (Taylor freezes) Carest thou not that you are about to witness the end to all living things?
TAYLOR: Are you going to hurt me? If you’re going to hurt me, I have to warn you, I’m a bleeder. You’ll get all messy.
RILEY: Woe until thee oh thou who heedest not this warning! See-est thou not the destruction that is rushing toward us?
(Taylor has some suggestions about being more persuasive)
TAYLOR: (rising) Look, I don’t want to tell you how to your job …
RILEY: (a beat, then) … but?
TAYLOR: But ... well … you could use a few tips.
RILEY: Tips? You give me tips? How ridiculous! (a long beat as he reconsiders, then) What sort of tips?
TAYLOR: Well, for one thing … your method.
RILEY: What’s wrong with my method?
TAYLOR: This whole bit about shouting in people’s faces. You know, that’s no way to win friends.
RILEY: You think I shout too much?
TAYLOR: Yes. You shout too much. Any shouting is too much and you do a lot of it.
(Riley decides to go to work and leave the doomsday business to Taylor)
TAYLOR: Sure! Calm down! Calm down! The world’s going to pot and he tells me to calm down! (grabbing Riley again … now in hysteria) How can I calm down when the entire world is crashing down around me!
RILEY: (jumps out of the way and looks up) Where?
TAYLOR: (screams as he goes to his knees and holds his head) Oooohhhhh!
RILEY: Where did you say you worked?
TAYLOR: Acme Envelopes … but I quit! I quit! I give up on the entire human race!
RILEY: That’s on 45th street?
TAYLOR: Yes! Yes! But who cares anymore!
RILEY: And this is the bus to 45th street. I’ll bet they’re hiring today.
TAYLOR: Who cares! Oh, who cares?
RILEY: Look, I’ve got to run. It’s been nice chatting. Uh ... is that your lunch?
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