Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 1997

You've been there. You just didn't know it. Our hero gets a job at a fast food restaurant and 'Big Bob's' is run just like you feared.

Price includes 2 scripts.


8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 2 Males

Product Id: #235

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An excerpt …

(A typical fast-food day.)

Bob: (his back to the audience as Troy stands facing us, nervous) We’re down two fries! Come on! Hustle it up! Is this my Big Snack Meal? Would somebody fill the shake machine? It’s spittin’ again! (turns and sees Troy) Who’re you?

Troy: Troy. I’m supposed to start work today?

Bob: Oh, no … I forgot. That’s all I need today. Two buses out there and my grill girl called in sick, which I doubt very much bein’ the first day of the State Fair, but who am I to complain? … just the lowly manager of Big Bob’s … just the guy who’s gotta put out four thousand Big Bob Burgers a day with employees that come and go and …

Troy: I could come back later.

Bob: Not on your life. I need you, Jim.

Troy: Troy.

(He’s hired and takes his first order.)

Troy: Could I help you ma’am?  (listens) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. She’d like a Big Bob Burger without the special sauce.

Bob: Good luck, lady.

Troy: But she …

Bob: Is she gettin’ it to go?

Troy: Yes.

Bob: Good. By the time she opens it two miles down the road, it’ll be too late to come back. We don’t have time for special orders, but it makes a great advertising slogan.

Troy: I’m not sure I can get the hang of this.

(There are some tricks to the trade.)

Troy: I just told them it was twelve dollars and …

Bob: You numbskull! They understood every word of it!

Troy! I know! Aren’t we supposed to …

Bob: No! Listen to me do it: (speaking into the mike, mangling it terribly through his cupped hand) Thangks you. Your odermpgh will be twelfthgh dolangs and bibty threven thenths.

Troy: What was that?

Bob: Look, if you give ‘em the same price when they order as when they pay, that means you can’t make a mistake. Mumble boy, mumble! That way they can never catch you when you get it wrong! Here’s another one. (And Big Bob carries on a conversation with someone at the drive up and we are unable to make out a single word he says.)

Troy: What was that?

Bob: I majored in ancient Greek.

Troy: I’m confused.

Bob: So were the Greeks.


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