FRIES WITH THAT

Humorous, by Ken Bradbury, 2000

A baby-sitter has to jazz up the story of Jack and Jill or lose his job. So, he tries vaudeville, melodrama, Kabuki Theatre and and more.

The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.

Duration

15 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 17 Characters

Product Id: #753

Price
$18.00
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FRIES WITH THAT

An excerpt …

(The baby sitter …)

HAGEN: (entering) Whatta ya mean you’re tired of the story? 

UTA: You tell me the same story every night before bedtime and I’m sick of it.

HAGEN: Look, you want the truth? “Jack and Jill” is the only story I know.

UTA: It’s boring. It’s getting old and it’s really boring. Come up with somethin’ else or I’ll ask Mommy to get a new babysitter.

HAGEN: Look kid, I need this job. It’s this or McDonalds.

UTA: Go flip burgers.

HAGEN: Look, I’ll make it a play, okay?

UTA: Wake me when it’s over.

(So, the story is embellished.)

UTA: Jazz it up. Some variety … Like a melodrama! (melodramatic music comes in under) Jack the Ripper! (a villainous “Jack” jumps onto the stage complete with cape, evil mustache, etc.) And poor innocent Jill! (A beautifully frilly and unusually naïve Jill enters, all a-flutter)

BAD JACK: Come here, my pretty! Climb the hill with me, my dear!

GOOD JILL: Oh, whatever could he want?

BAD JACK: You. The hill. Climb. Now!

GOOD JILL: He does seem to be a good sort. But what will I tell dear mummy?

BAD JACK: Tell her to get her own hill! Let’s go!

GOOD JILL: Yes! Yes, I shall climb!

BAD JACK: We shall climb!

(And told a number of ways.)

EGG FOO JACK: (leaping onto the stage in one mighty karate-type jump) AaeeooWah! Ah-ha! Chow Mein Jill!

CHOW MEIN JILL: Oh! Egg Foo Jack!

EGG FOO JACK: Oh, my wittle wotus fwower! Come! Let us climb Mount Fuji-yama!

CHOW MEIN JILL: Do not toy-ota with me, Egg Foo Jack. Remember my honor!

EGG FOO JACK: If you will not climb, (picks her up in his arms) den I will karry-oke you to da top!

CHOW MEIN JILL: But what if we fall?

EGG FOO JACK: Den we will be cwushed to Mitsu-bits!

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