Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 1999

See ... David is a baseball player. A heavenly scout needs someone to pitch against the Giants, especially their big hitter, Goliath.

Price includes 2 scripts.


8 - 10 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 2 Males

Product Id: #246

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An excerpt …

(A scout spots a pretty fair pitcher.)

SAMUEL: You’re David, right? Jesse’s boy David?

DAVID: Yeh, dad’s our coach. You come to see him? He’s right over there. (begins to exit)

SAMUEL: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! No, I’ve already talked to him. It’s you dat a vant to see.

(extending his hand) My name’s Samuel. Samuel Prophet. Call me Sam.

DAVID: Uh … okay. You’re the game warden, right? Look, that lion was tryin’ to get dad’s

sheep, honest. I just threw a little rock to scare him away. I didn’t think it’d kill him.

SAMUEL: Game varden? Ha! Dat’s a good von! Lots of t’ings I’ve been called but I ain’t got

no fondness for der lions. No, no, no. I’m a scout.

DAVID: A what?

SAMUEL: Scout, scout. Baseball, boy.

DAVID: Holy cow!

SAMUEL: You’re close. Close.

(It seems the opposition has a big hitter.)

SAMUEL: According to ESPN, it’s a sure thing. He’s knocked every pitcher ve got out of da park. Dey won’t even go up against him anymore. He’s von dirty sucker.

DAVID: Dad says he hits those line drives on purpose just to hurt guys.

SAMUEL: He’s a schmuck, is vat he is. A big-headed, no-brained schmuck … but he can hit dat ball.

DAVID: He’ll kill me!

SAMUEL: Tash! Don’t talk dat vay! Ve got a manager vot you just vouldn’t believe! He can give you power, boy!

DAVID: Look, I got soccer practice at two then I gotta run home and watch the series. I’ll tell dad you played a good joke on me but I gotta go. (as he starts to exit, Samuel grabs him.)

SAMUEL: Hold it, Davie boy. I t’ink maybe you better talk to da boss.


(Finally, David gets some motivation.)

SAMUEL: He called your whole family names … and our whole team. I can’t believe dey put dat schlemiel on a Wheaties box.

DAVID: Nobody calls my dad a dog!


DAVID: Where’s the boss’s car?

SAMUEL: Forget da limousine. Your mom can take us in her minivan. Nobody can beat dat voman goin’ to a ballgame!

DAVID: (throwing his fist into the air) For the Angels!

SAMUEL: (mimicking his gesture) For da Boss!

BOTH: For da boss! 

DAVID: (his hand on Samuel’s shoulder) I’m gonna get me a Giant!

SAMUEL: Rock and fire, Davie! Rock and fire! (and they head out toward the game)


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