GIMME THE BALL! GIMME THE BALL!
Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2012
He thinks he’s the best basketball player in the world. What position? The bench. It’s hard to follow the game when you’re busy waving at your parents … and watching the cheerleaders.
Duration6 - 9 minutes
- 1 Male
Product Id: #137
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An excerpt …
(before the game starts)
(entering) This is it! This is it! Been waiting all week for tonight! Man! Look at the crowd! Moms and Dads and cheerleaders. Whoa! I like cheerleaders! Referees and coaches and popcorn and … (jumps) Ahhh! What’s that? Oh … the buzzer.
Come on, guys! Huddle up! Time to start the game! (pulling at his imaginary basketball shorts) Wish they had a pair that fit me. I’m gonna have to dribble with one hand if I’m gonna win this game. (looking down) Cool new shoes! On the commercials it made the guys jump really high.
You know, there’s an art to sitting on the bench. I mean, you’ve got to pay attention so when the coach sends you in you’ll know what’s goin’ on. You can’t be lookin’ around and not payin’ any … Hey! There’s Mom! (waving) Hi Mom! This is me! On the bench! I’m goin’ in any minute! And I’m wearin’ the new shoes! Cool, huh? Yo! Dad! This is me! Your all-star son! And … who’s that? Grandma! Hey, Grandma! (stands to wave, then grabs his pants) Whoa. Forgot about these loose shorts. I gotta stand up slower. (sits)
(the time arrives)
Yes! Yes! He picked me! (Stands, hands in air, begins jumping up and down.) I’m goin’ in! I’m goin’ in! (stops) Everybody’s starin’ at me. They’re quiet. (looks to another direction) And the little cheerleader. She’s smiling … Oh yes! She’s smiling! (hands in the air again, jumping up and down) My dreams are comin’ true! My hopes are high! My future’s in sight! (stops hopping, looks down) My shorts are around my ankles. (slowly and with great embarrassment he reaches down and hikes up his basketball shorts) At least that explains the smiling.
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