IT'S A SECRET
Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2006
A boy goes with his girlfriend on the worst shopping trip ever — to “Vicky’s Secret.”
Price includes 2 scripts.
Duration8 - 10 minutes
- 1 Female, 1 Male
Product Id: #283
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An excerpt …
(he sees the destination at the mall)
MARK: (sees the sign above the store’s entrance) Hold it! No way! I’m not goin’ in there!
JEN: It’s just a clothing store, Mark!
MARK: But look at kind of clothing! Vicky’s Secret! They sell … (looks) Oh, my gosh. It’s even worse than I thought!
JEN: But Mark …
MARK: I can’t go in there! Just look at that stuff, Jen! I’m embarrassed to even look at it! Mom even washes my clothes separate from my sister’s so my socks don’t touch … well … you know.
JEN: You are really funny.
MARK: This is not a bit funny, Jen. I can’t go in that store.
JEN: Your mom told me that you won’t even try on clothes in a store.
MARK: So what?
(he waits by the door)
MARK: (aloud, to himself) “You’re funny, Mark.” I’ll tell you what isn’t funny. Standing here and … (sees someone coming down the Mall walkway) Oh, no. Oh, no. I can’t believe this. Here comes most of my football team! (waves weakly) Hi guys. No, I’m not shopping here. I’m just standing here. No, I’m not looking at anything. You are? You’re sick. I was just waiting for … Hey! Where you goin’? Let me explain! Stop laughing! Everybody’s looking! (but they are gone) Great. It’ll be all around school by second period tomorrow.
JEN: (entering) Hey, Mark! Look at this! (holds up a garment)
MARK: (shielding his eyes and turning away) Don’t do that! Get that away from me!
(then, he has to pay for the items)
MARK: I’m going to hold my breath. If I pass out, grab by credit card. (he turns to the cashier) Hi. (through a clenched soul) Yes, I found everything I was looking for? No, I don’t need any of those. Look, could you just … Gift wrapped? I’m not giving them as a gift! What? Then you think …? No, they’re not for me! They’re for ... (and he turns but she is gone) ... they’re for … Jen! Jen, where’d you go?! (to the clerk) You promise not to tell anyone? Look, there’s nothing to tell. (looking around) Jen! Jen, I need you right now! (to the clerk) Sign what? Oh ... the card. (tries) Yeh, I know my hand’s shaking. No! That proves nothing! I’m just a nervous wreck! Jen! No. No, I don’t want a receipt. I don’t want any evidence that I’ve been here. (the clerk speaks) That proves nothing! Jen!
JEN: (suddenly showing up at his side) Ready to go?
MARK: I want to go home.
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