Main Event: Dick and Jane VS. Gutenberg & Gates, The (or) And His Name was Spot.

(All he wanted was a bedtime story.)

BOBBY: Spot? Spot boy?

SPOT: (Barks. As he barks through the rest of the tale, there is some semblance of human speech but only the characters can understand him well. The dog does after all, have a personality. For reference, see: Astro of the Jetsons.)

BOBBY: She’s gone, Spot. I thought we’d never get rid of her. All I wanted was a story, Spot. The kind you tell me when Mommy goes to bed.

SPOT: (barks)

BOBBY: You will? You’ll tell me a story?

SPOT: (barks)

BOBBY:  Tell me about how it used to be, Spot … back when books and stories were everywhere! Back when little boys like me used to dream! Please tell me, Spot!

(Dick, Jane and Spot take him on a world tour.)

DICK: Jane! It’s Johann Gutenberg!

GUTENBERG: Do I know you? You’re not a salesman, are you? Is dat a dog? Why is he sniffing my machine?

JANE: That’s our dog Spot!

GUTENBERG: Great. You vant to please get him avay from my vatch-cha-ma-call-it? (to Spot) Vatch vere you’re sniffing, Fido. Dis is da only vatch-cha-ma-call-it I’ve got. Took me years to make. You ever try to get parts for a vatch-cha-ma-call-it? Dere’s not a dealer in da whole country!

BOBBY: What country?

GUTENBERG: Germany, dumekoff! Now excuse me. I’ve got vork to do. I’ve got to come up mit a name for dis ting.

DICK: Jane! It’s the first printing press with movable metal type!

(Is this the future of books?)

GATES: Hi, I’m Bill Gates!

SPOT: (growls)

(the group hums “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” in the background underGates’ speech.

GATES: I can see that great fiber-optic cable in the sky! Through the miracle of OCR, DVD, URL and …STP, I can see that one day there will be a personal PC on every desk in every home, and every school, and every playground in America! That is the future!! … a world of consumers so closely tied to one another by Microsoft Explorer that even the Federal Government will come begging to use our browser for internet  access! I have met the future, and it R us! There will be little children of all races and creeds and stock portfolios holding hands on the hills overlooking Seattle, chanting in unison:

(group chants softly: “Microsoft, Microsoft, Microsoft …”)

McGUFFEY: Who is this guy?

DICK: At home we call him the father of the PC revolution!

McGUFFEY: What do they call him in Seattle?

JANE: God.