Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 1999
Jonah gets home after an absence and tries to explain to his wife where he has been.
Price includes 2 scripts.
Duration8 - 10 minutes
- 1 Female, 1 Male
Product Id: #244
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An excerpt …
(Jonah tries to sneak in the house.)
Joan: (with a bellow designed to wake a dead fish) JONAH!!!!!!!!
Jonah: (sitting bolt upright, dazed and frightened) Huh?
Joan: (entering, his wife) Jonah!!!!
Jonah: Here? (still groggy) Wh … what?
Joan: Well, look who the tide dragged in!
Jonah: Good morning, sweetheart.
Joan: “Good morning, sweetheart.” That’s it? Six days … no word … you don’t call … no email … Just take off leaving me and kids for three days then you sneak back in here smelling like rotten seaweed and all I get is “Good morning, sweetheart?” That’s it. I’ve had it with you, sweet cheeks. I’m taking the kids and going to my mothers. Don’t forget to feed the cat. (begins to exit)
(How about a cup of coffee and a chat?)
Joan: Coffee. Coffee? Your daughter is about to enter therapy, your son keeps trying to smash his new violin and you want coffee? How nice of you to care so much, Jonah. Your compassion breaks my heart.
Jonah: Joan, you’re not going to believe what I’m about to tell you.
Joan: So what else is new?
Jonah: Sit down, honey. This won’t be easy.
Joan: (sitting) Nothing is easy with you, Jonah.
Jonah: Okay. Here goes. ………… I was swallowed by a huge fish.
Jonah: (sitting) You don’t believe me.
Joan: Jonah …
Jonah: I was nearly killed and you don’t believe me.
Joan: (softening a bit at his obvious sadness … sniffing) Didn’t they have bathtubs in Nineveh?
Jonah: I haven’t slept in six days. I’m hungry. I nearly lost my life serving God and know my wife doesn’t believe a thing I say.
Joan: You have no imagination, Jonah.
Jonah: What’s that got to do with it?
Joan: That means I believe you. You have no imagination. You’re unreliable, you make me angry sometimes, but you have no imagination. That I know.
Jonah: What are you saying?
Joan: I’m saying you couldn’t have made it up. I know you too well.
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