Comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2000
A coach tries to handle a junior high basketball team. Who's in charge here?The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.
Duration5 - 6 minutes
- 4 Males
Product Id: #766
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An excerpt …
(The speech at first practice.)
COACH JEFFRIES: Okay men, let me be honest: You’re too short. You’re too slow. You can’t shoot, and your uniforms hang on you like gunnysacks. Other than that, I think we’re gonna have a great season. Maybe we’ll find a couple of schools to play that are in the middle of a flu epidemic. But remember! Think Big, Play Big!
NICK: It didn’t look like a great Jr. High basketball season. Coach Jeffries didn’t exactly sound like we were headed for the NBA playoffs.
COACH JEFFRIES: I’ve scheduled a practice game for this Thursday night. But I gotta warn ya, it’s gonna be tough! I asked the best team I could find to come and test us out … and the cheerleaders think they have enough to play us. But remember! Think Big, Play Big!
(The coach seems to harp on the same theme.)
NICK: This was gonna be a rough season. The other team looked like skyscrapers out there. Our team had twelve injuries in the first half. We kept breakin’ our noses on the other team’s kneecaps.
COACH JEFFRIES: All right guys, that was a good first half. No, really. We didn’t play all that bad. Paul. Where are you supposed to line up for the in-bounds play? Then what were you doin’ with the other team’s cheerleaders? I don’t care if they were short one girl, I don’t want to see you on top of their pyramid again! It’s embarrassing! That dunk didn’t count. You can’t dunk the ball standin’ on the back of three cheerleaders! Geesh! And Joe, I said Elvis, not Madonna! You could of got a technical for that move! Whatsa matter with you guys? Oh good grief! Come on, guys! Let’s go out there and turn this game around … remember … Think Big! Play Big!
(All’s well that ends big.)
NICK: We won the game. Coach Jeffries took so long with his story that the other team thought we’d given up. They left the floor and they had to forfeit the game. And speakin’ of coaches, Coach Jeffries quit basketball and decided to be the sponsor of the speech team. He’s teaching them this play about a little kid with a mean grandma. Nobody wanted the Jr. High coaching job so they gave it to me. We’ve got twenty-six more games. Now if I can think of thirteen more ways to trick the other team into leavin’ early, we’ll have a winning season. Tonight Cody is going to throw a screaming fit every time the referees give the ball to the other team. If that works, I’ve got these paint ball guns that you can hide right down inside your uniform. Heck, it could be a great year! You wanna know why? ‘Cause I’m thinkin’ big!
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