WHAT HO!

Humorous, by Ken Bradbury, 2000

Robin Hood sits in Sherwood Forest Retirement Home ... causing problems.

The number and gender of characters can be changed to accommodate available participants. Price is for a master script. Make as many copies as is required for your ensemble.

Duration

10 - 12 minutes

    Cast Options

  • 2 Females, 2 Males

Product Id: #761

Price
$18.00
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An excerpt …

(Typical day at the nursing home.)

NURSE: (entering) Mr. Hood? (nothing … he continues to doze) Mr. Hood, you need to wake up now.

ROBIN: (startled) What? My bow! Where’s my bow?

NURSE: I don’t have your bow, Mr. Hood. It’s time for your prune juice.

ROBIN: You replaced my bow with prune juice?

NURSE: Dr. Nottingham took your bow away, Mr. Hood. You kept shooting the cats here at Sherwood Rest Home.

ROBIN: I mistook them for evil forest elves. They looked like elves. Is it bedtime? I’m going to sleep.

(His old friend arrives.)

LITTLE JOHN: (charging in) What ho! Yon friend Robin! Whither yonder doest break the golden sunrise, good fellow? The forest calls us, noble comrade! Up! Up! Up and to arms for the sake of Truth and Justice!

ROBIN: (both he and the nurse do a very long “take” as Little John strikes a ridiculously noble pose … finally Robin speaks) Oh ye vile and treacherous knave! Oh that I might smite thee with yon bedpan!

LITTLE JOHN: Robin! Knowest thee me not? ‘Tis thy ancient friend Little John!

ROBIN: Oh, cursed be the day we met, thou wretched and most hideous villain!

LITTLE JOHN: Then we shall do battle!

ROBIN: (standing shakily) To the death!

LITTLE JOHN: To the death!

NURSE: (terrified) I’m going to get help!

(It’s all an act ..)

LITTLE JOHN: Sit down, Robin. Your knees are wobbling.

ROBIN: It’s all that prune juice. (he sits) So … any call out there for aging men in green tights?

LITTLE JOHN: Canned corn commercials and Christmas parades.

ROBIN: It’s a shame, isn’t it?

LITTLE JOHN: What’s that, old friend?

ROBIN: Two the world’s most fierce defenders of freedom and justice … and now our toughest battle is getting the cap off the Excedrin bottle.

LITTLE JOHN: Someone’s coming.

ROBIN: It’s the Witch of Sherwood Forest. Quick. The bird routine.

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