256 - HUT!HUT!HUT!

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[comedy, by Ken Bradbury, 2002] Two girls decide that playing football is a good idea, at least until they get to the first practice. (2f) [8 – 10 minutes] Two script minimum order.

(the decision)

 

MADDY: We can do this.

LAURA: You are out of your mind … and I’m out of my mind for agreeing to it.

MADDY:  You wanna play football, right?

LAURA:  That’s all I’ve wanted to do since I was a little girl, but they won’t let girls play.

MADDY:  Well, honey, today’s your chance. Look Laura, it’s the first day of practice, the coach doesn’t know anybody, and we’ve got our hair tucked up under these stupid helmets. By the time he figures it out, we’ll be stars and he can’t possible say no.

LAURA:  You still sound like a girl.

MADDY:  (deepening her voice) Oh, yeh?

LAURA:  Now, it’s King Kong.

 

(first, they have to warm-up)

 

MADDY:  Just do what they do. (Maddy begins pounding on Laura’s shoulders)

LAURA:  Hey! Stop that! That hurts!

MADDY:  It’s supposed to hurt! This ain’t cross-stitch, honey!

LAURA:  Okay! (and she pounds on Maddy’s shoulders)

MADDY:  Whoa! Whoa! Ouch! Hey, take it easy!

LAURA:  (pounding) Come on, you little wimp!

MADDY:  Easy! Easy! (stops Laura) Hold it … what’s he saying?

LAURA:  Line up against your man.

MADDY:  I don’t even have a man. I’m just fourteen.

 

(discovery)

 

MADDY:  They’re staring at you. I got crammed so deep into the dirt they can’t even see me.

LAURA:  Why are they staring?

MADDY:  Where’s your helmet, Laura?

LAURA:  (slowly and painfully reaches up to touch her head, then) Oh, no.

MADDY:  Me, too.

LAURA:  Oh, my gosh!

MADDY:  What?

LAURA:  I didn’t do my hair before we came out.